How to be a Patient Patient

Since the little let down on Tuesday,  I have just been ticking over as normal.  I have been going to work as normal and doing slightly shorter days, everything has been as normal as could be.  Earlier in the week  Karyn my boss asked if she could have a quick word.  She handed me a little "medal"  and she asked if I could keep it with me during treatment, I took it from her and she mentioned that her mother had given it to her for me, I tucked it into my watch strap and will have it with me wherever I go.

During the day I received an email from a friend at work, Carla, and she told me I could put it on here.  Its really nice to recieve messages like this and this is just one of many I have had, letters, emails, messages and texts:

Hi Ric,

Just reading your blog 'the trial' - I cant seem to reply on there as I'm not tecnologicalised!

Thought I'd tell you a little (almost related) story...

32 years ago a special lady found out her baby was born with terminal wilmstumour (kidney cancer). They were told there was little hope but could try a 'trial' medication called 'chemotherapy', today, that baby lives in my house, eats my food and regularly farts on my sofa!

I thank god every day for the trial and for my John! He is the longest surviving patient of wilms tumour and although the side effects were bad (we now have to have IVF to have children) I would not/could not be without him, and thanks to a 'trial'... I dont have to be!

Feel free to add this to your blog if appropriate or just keep it to yourself, its up to you!

Love you lots sugar tits! xxx

On Wednesday my mate Rob came over in the evening and we had a few drinks, we watched a pretty appalling BRIT Awards and I realised that I am really out of touch with current music, and I thought that it was also quite poor that the majority of performing artists were actually American!

After a good nights sleep, I went to work as normal again on Thursday and missed a call from MacMillans.  I really want to speak to them about a few concerns I have, so I left a message to organise meeting them.   At work, and also at Leonie's work, a few people have shown an interest in the Walk in the Dark for Rosemere, so hopefully we should have quite a gang of us walking to raise money for the cancer centre and it really does show support.

In other news, my plasters have come off my surgical wounds, check out the photo below for the scar pictures. Over the last couple of days, I have found myself putting the cancer to the back of my mind and getting on with things, however, this does have the added interruptive thoughts of cancer, for example, I could be sat at my desk at work and then I suddenly remember about the big C and it stops me in my tracks as a rush of emotions come over me; fear, anxiety, guilt, confusion, shock (still) and then the same question pops up, the "why me?"  Something which I will never find the answer too I suppose, but that doesn't stop me thinking it!  Being at work really helps to take my mind off things and gives me something else to focus on.

On Thursday evening we had Leonie's family over and had a takeaway.  Oscar and Sid love playing with their cousin, Thomas, and so he stayed over night.  The boys all played happily together while all the adults had a catch up.  I spent some time talking to my brother in law, Paul.  He has offered a lot of advice from some personal experiences he has been through.  He has had a positive outlook to things that have been going on, and I commend him for that, but the advice he has offered was one of the reasons I started writing this blog.

The boys were good going to bed and then Leonie and I chilled and and caught up on some tv.  On Fridays the boys all got up early together but left us alone, I got up as Leonie is still on holiday (half term) and got ready for work.  I went in and it was relaxed.  A colleague, Mike, has just had a baby and he brought Joshua in; I probably sat holding him for about half an hour while we chatted.  I left work early hoping to get to see Macmillans in the afternoon, but when I went to pick Leonie up from her mum's I fell asleep on the sofa, I needed the nap!

Leonie woke me up and we went to be interviewed for the LEP, it was good fun, but I get a bit embarrassed when people say words like inspirational, the journalist was nice and it was a little wierd telling someone the full story.  We weren't at the paper long before getting back to have some tea and pick up the boys from Leonie's mum.  Tomorow we are going to a Rosemere fundraising event which has been arranged by a family friend, Norma, who lost her husband, Steve, to cancer a couple of years ago.  Steve was the Group Scout Leader for 9th Penwortham, where I attended beavers, cubs, scouts and  ventures and then both me and Leonie spent some time as leaders to the scouts.  Steve was a good man and worked hard to enrich so many lives, so tomorrow may be emotional.