Today has been a day of two halves. This morning was difficult as we (my wife, Leonie and I) read through the library of MacMillans books we have collected over the last few days and then dug out the insurance documents, this made it all seem all the more real. This coupled with the fact that the last couple of days have been quite exhausting, we both felt a little overwhelmed.
After that I called my GP to organise my pescriptions, for vitamin D and iron, and some more gluten free food (I'm always hungry at the moment!)
Leonie and I chatted a lot this morning and I took the decision to publish a link to the blog on facebook, the reason was two fold. Firstly, so the news came from me in my words rather than people finding out by gossip, and nipping any chinese whispers in the bud. Secondly, if anyone had questions, they could ask them now rather than in two months time when I going through chemo and my response may have been a little less pleasant than my usual response. I did not expect to get the reaction from friends (some close, some I haven't seen in years) but also from people I have never met, friends of friends, people not in my circle. This one action and step to "go public" was probably the best thing to have happened through all of the tests, biopsies, consultations and appointments, it's truely astonishing, so a big Thank You to everyone who commented, shared and liked!!!!
After lunch, a quick drop off of our youngest, Sidney, at my parents before rushing to the hospital for the pre-op meeting and onto part two of the day. Tomorrow I am having the staging laproscopy, endoscopy and some other "oscopy", so the results from that will determine the stage and grade of the cancer and determine the course of treatment - fingers crossed for a good result!
Height, weight and blood pressure later, the nurse asked about my history and current medication, I came clean and said I was a smoker, 3rd day as a non smoker with the aid of nicorette patches (proud face) and so she advised for me to have an ECG as nicorette/nicotine causes your heart to race. This ECG is where they stick loads of patches all over you, then hook each of these up to the machine to get a heart reading, there were wires EVERYWHERE! I made some small talk with the nurse (I really can't shut up) and said how did they know what wire went where, her response was a rant about how casualty spend loads on getting the surgery scenes medically correct but they can't even do an ECG the right way, anyway, to answer my question, its all numbered!
Then another visit to have my bloods taken, I think this will now take me to double figures this year alone, to make sure of my blood type and current levels of iron and other things, all pretty standard in case I need a transfusion? Yep key hole surgery can go wrong, but I am assured that this is a very small percent. I have no qualms about this, but its good to know every eventuality I suppose.
So a short visit to the hospital today, but lots achieved and I feel good for it, ready and prepared for tomorrow. My mum is taking me in tomorrow as my wife is going to work for the first time since we found out, but at least most people know. I think she is worried about being the centre of attention (I usually take that role), I hope she is ok, she is strong on the outside, but she has a squishy middle and I worry for her. Me, I'm looking forward to tomorrow, I like things like this, and I like watching the wings bounce up and down through the window of a plane, its kind of my sadistic streak, my mind is thinking of the results though, and I am trying to not think about this until next week. Baby steps and one day at a time!